Planning for the new year –Masks: Do your actions match your thoughts?

We’ve all got images of how we would like to be.  And with enough work and dedication, we can become those people.  But in the process, it’s easy to put on a front to the world and ourselves that we are something that we are not.  What does it say to people when you are defensive, defiant, quick to temper, gossipy, and focused only on yourself?   It shows that something is being hidden.

The worst part is is that when we see others doing it, we see right through it, but we for some reason think that ours is opaque.

What would it take for you to be OK with:

  • not knowing the answer to a question?
  • accurately explaining to people where you are in your process rather than try and make it seem like you are further along than you really are?
  • not trying to impress others in a conversation?
  • just listening to somebody without making it about you?

We’ve all got underlying core values about how we’d like to life our lives but when our external existence is different from this internal desire, it creates dis-ease.  It creates friction.   Living your life in accordance to how you deep down believe it should be lived is fundamental in coaching.  It’s fundamental to be happy and fully realized life.

When I work with clients, often the first areas of questioning we go into is “what is it that you want out of life?  And of those wants, what’s currently showing up?   What’s not?  Why not?”  From there we build on the core values and work on matching their internal beliefs with their daily actions.

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3 thoughts on “Planning for the new year –Masks: Do your actions match your thoughts?”

  1. Thoughtful post – it reminded me of a art class I taught in an inner-city high school. We talked about the “face” we show to the world and the “face” we hide behind – the mask. The students were given masks and instructed to decorate both sides: one to portray what they showed to the world and one to show what they kept inside. It was quite revealing and opened the discussion beyond the realm of art.

    1. Hi Pamela–That activity sounds very cool with your students. I’ll bet the difference between the inside and outside of those masks had a lot of contrasts (both positive, interesting and i’m sure sad). Thanks for sharing that great example.

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