We’ve looked at motivation and implementing key behaviors at critical times. Before we go any further, it’s important that we take a look back to times in your life when you had an easier time around your topic. Times when (depending on your topic):
- you were kinder to yourself or others
- drank, smoked or ate less or healthier
- had a better relationship with that person
- were happier with your career or your outlook for the future.
It’s important that you take time to acknowledge these times and more importantly, analyze why. What made those situations different than now? What made it possible for you to be happy with your topic at that time?
For example, you may be trying to repair a relationship that in the past has always been good, but in recent times has gone sour. When it was good, why was it? Perhaps you were more secure financially, happier with your career, in love with them, or the relationship feed you but now it is wearing you down. All of these changes may be the real cause of your dis-ease right now and the symptom is your strained relationship.
Or, there may be a time that you drank much less. Why? Perhaps you were much busier, around different people, into exercise more, had less money, drank only socially or overall much happier. Compare that to now and figure out what is different about your present situation.
Ideas for next time:
1. Figure out times in your life when your topic of change wasn’t an issue or was much less of an issue. Analyze why it was like that then and what has changed in the present day.
2. Try to replicate it. Try to bring back some of those older parts of your life into your present. It worked once, and chances are it will work again.
Think of what you are doing as starting up an old machine or restoring an engine. The behavior that you are trying to replicate from your past worked well before, but it’s going to need some acknowledgement, patience and some TLC to get it running again. By simply remembering a time when it did work can often be very empowering and a reminder that things have not always been as troubling as they seem now. Now with this new perspective, it’s time to replicate it.